Baby Number TWO!!!!

This has been the longest two months of my life. I kept thinking, next time we're going to start trying before we actually think we're ready because, when you're ready you just want to be pregnant now. Finding out about other pregnancies were exciting but slightly painful. Even at this young age you are filled with worries of fertility problems. After the first failed attempt I was feeling pretty bad for myself, because to be perfectly honest. I was positive I was pregnant. Looking back I suppose I just wanted to be pregnant so badly that I made myself believe I was this incredilbly intuned mother who could tell when her stomach contained an embryo smaller than the eye can see. So when my period came right on schedule I was incredibly disappointed. Then I felt selfish. I started to get mad at myself for being so impatient. Here it was only a little over a month since I had my IUD taken out and I was feeling all bad for myself. On average it takes a person a full year to concieve. A FULL YEAR! And I wasn't patient enough to wait a couple months. Nevertheless, I was still heart broken. So the following month I decided that what happened happened and I wasn't going to get my hopes up this time. I wasn't going to let myself worry or think about it, or count down the days until my next scheduled period. In fact I convinced myself the whole month that I was not pregnant. I didn't feel like it, I didn't look like it. Nothing. So I wasn't pregnant. Then for the whole week following my next period (which I wasn't keeping track of, right?) Me and Justin got along awful. Especially awful considereing how much sex we were having. My ovulating week we had sex sooo much that I was in physical pain for four or five days afterwards and even had to put a cream on. And I don't even get sore anymore, I've had a BABY! Anyways so we got along awful and Justin kept playing it off as you must be pregnant, you must be pregnant, you are emotional, depressed, naggy and tired all the time. But of course I wasn't going to let myself believe it. So the fateful day came. October 3rd. No period. I had purchased pregnancy tests for just such an occasion. You are supposed to pee on the stick for Ten second. I was worried that I wouldn't pee for the full ten seconds and it says AT LEAST ten so I peed in a cup instead. The results came slow and the lines were painfully vague. Not a dark pink plus at all but it sure was a plus. I left the test alone and decided I would try another test later but I was hopeful. One hour later I was ready to pee again.....This time the results came quick. The test DID say the results could come as fast as sixty seconds. I think mine were faster than that. There it was! A perfect pink plus! I was shaking. I was ecstatic. Nothing could ruin this day. Nothing did. I am proud to announce that my beautiful little baby number TWO is on the way. Due on June 11th. What a perfect date. So after doing a little hair today I squeezed  in every minute of research I could do on my new little sunshine. I found out that doctors actually go off  the first day of my last period for the date my baby was concieved? Weird. So in doctors terms, my baby is already four weeks old when my calculated ovulation week would place him at only two weeks old. Why couldn't they just go off of the first day of your guestimated ovulation calculation. No idea. That's how it is though. But supposedly my baby is the size of a sesame seed. My little sesame seed.

I am so happy! I don't think I'll get to sleep tonight, dreaming of what my baby will be. I cannot wait to meet my little sesame seed.