Month 2

I can honestly say this pregnancy has been completely different than my first one. For one, I have lots more time (technically) but almost none of it is spent being lazy. Instead of going to school and work all day, I am chasing around a toddler with an agenda all of his own. I have decided also that because I was so busy in my first pregnancy I didn't really have time to think about how I was feeling. At least I don't remember for the first whole month being so exhausted that by mid day that I had to take a nap. Luckily James still does too. I did have cravings and that has returned. Hahaha just thinking about it makes me laugh because when a craving hits it's not like should I or shouldn't I, it's like life or death. I choose life, I am eating the dang ice cream snickers, or wendy's fries, or drinking that pepsi. Also my hormones have completely run away with me and I've decided that I am no longer responsible for any irritable outburst, crying episode or irrational upset I have. I have turned into quite the cry baby. It feels good though. Good to cry. I wasn't missing crying that's for sure, since my life has become much less dramatic, but every time I do it's like a whole hearted, body wracking cry. And then I feel great after. I feel bad for Justin because everytime I do, he thinks something is really wrong with me but I think I just need to get bad energy out. And then there is the nasea. I only had this for about three weeks last time at the end of my first trimester. Basically I've been nasious since my fifth week on. It's off and on but it's one of my least favortie symptoms. I don't remember the beginning being so hard. I feel like I'm starting to come out of a lot of the exhaustion though. I definitely have more energy. And I have tied my throwing up to my prenatal vitamins. I am always on a verge of puking for like two hours after I take my prenatal vitamin. So I have resorted to taking it before I go to bed. I am still having incredibly incredily strange dreams. Too wierd to even mention.

I had my first prenatal visit two weeks ago. It was so great. My regular midwife is out of town for all of the holidays so I met with one of the other five. It's good to meet with all of them because you never really know who will be on call when you happen to go into labor. I was lucky last time and Nancy was on call. I don't think I could have done it the first time without her. They did an ultrasound already which is crazy because at that point my baby was only the size of a grape. It's incredible what detail you can see. My baby already looks human but with a giant head. So kind of more like an alien than a human. When we first started doing the ultrasound my baby was like bouncing around. Moving all over the place. James came with me which I thought was pretty special even though I'm pretty sure he still doesn't understand that his little sibling is sitting in my belly. I have been trying to explain it to him but in the end he just thinks that our belly buttons are named baby. Maybe it will make more sense once my belly is huge and protruding.

I have only gained a couple pounds but if I'm wearing a tight shirt it's obvious that I am either pregnant or have spent a lifetime drinking beer. It's crazy to be showing even the slightest this early. Last time I just kind of looked fat until I was about five months and then it was like BAM, pregnant. Ready to have that baby, pregnant. It is slowly starting to make sense to me that before long I will have another little baby. I think it helped to see my little one on the ultrasound, moving around inside of me. Still will be a month or two before I even feel life. I can't wait for that. And since a lot of the bad symptoms are subsiding I'm feeling more excited about being pregnant until June.