Month 1

The first month of my pregnancy has passed and to be perfectly honest it hasn't really hit me yet. For two months straight getting pregnant was all I could think about. I obsessed over it, talked about it, dreamed about it so now that I am, the stress is off. Even though we actually tried this time, pregnancy (and the fact that I'm carrying someone that at their birth I'll feel I've known them forever) is as illusive as the first time. Not to say I'm not feeling any symptoms. Tender boobs, irritablilty, early preg. fatigue and HELLO frequent urination, I almost forgot about you. No sickness though yet, thankfully. Maybe I'll get lucky again. And I'm excited. Still soooo excited but for some reason it doesn't quite feel real yet. I suppose it will hit me when I first feel life, or maybe when I go in for my first prenatal visit, somtime between 8 and 12 weeks. They wont take you before then and it's suggested you go in by your 13th week. I've been walking everyday and have been trying to be as active as I have time. I want this to be a fit pregnancy. I mean I always ate really healthy through my last pregnancy but I wasn't really able to be fit between school and work. That's one thing I'm really grateful for this time. With James I went to school for seven and a half hours then worked for four to five hours. I was leaving home by eight a.m. and not getting home until after ten p.m. sometimes. I did that for a whole summer. I totally forgot about that. And surprisingly I wasn't bothered by it. Looking back I don't remember feeling sorry for myself when if I had to do that now I know I'd be complaining. I only did that for about three months but still...Then it was just school until I took some time off. I guess I'm just spoiled now. I get to stay at home and be a mom. Be crafty and cook and play little kid games. I know that in this day and age that role of motherhood is slightly looked down on. Not that we don't think mothers are great. Just that being a stay at home mom, not going on to get a masters, not pursuing a prestigious career looks a lot less glamourous. Less sophisticated. Less educated. When in all reality saying that motherhood is not prestigious, doesn't take sophistication, doesn't consist of furthered education is really laughable and makes me angry to think that people look down on such a crucial role. And yet I know some of these thoughts crossed my own mind not two years ago. Obviously my mind has been changed. I have read more meaningful books, done more important research, created more lasting memories, built stronger family bonds in the past two years than I did in the eighteen proceeding it. James is my life. He is what is important and what motivates me. I love him more than I thought my heart could handle. And I can think of no greater calling, career or cause than getting to raise him and my future children. Mothers build the future, because they raise the people who create it. I am so excited for my new little baby, to bring another person into this world. June 11th seems much too far away.

P.S. Now that I'm off my raw-raw motherhood rant I wanted to note that I don't intend to offend anyone that choose alternatives to my life choice. That was simply my appreciation and opinion in the situation and place I am in my life at the present moment.